sniffing the proverbial pits, or is it me?

So my best friend is leaving NYC and moving back to the DC area. And I am fucking pissed off, without the slightest right to be.

There are perfectly valid reasons for this, for him wanting to move. I still fucking want to nut punch him, though, and make him cry too.

Anyone I care an ounce about is nowhere near where I am.
There may be some proportionality involved, too.
Why the fuck does everyone want to be so far away from me?

song cue...Fuck Carole King.

..but just as cheesy! Har!

from the hearts and voices of sixteen-year-old auditors, circa 1983....I know these chords still, as Bethpage High School's accompanist extraordinaire.

I am waiting for this number to come up on a karaoke-bar song list. I will humiliate everyone around me. Just you wait. Beats the fuck out of "Memory" from Cats.

"Out Here on my Own" - Fame (Irene Cara)

Sometimes I wonder where I've been
Who I am, do I fit in.
Make believin' is hard alone
Out here on my own.

We're always provin' who we are
Always reachin' for that risin' star
To guide me far and shine me home
Out here on my own.

When I'm down and feelin' blue,
I close my eyes so I can be with you.
Oh, baby be strong for me; baby belong to me
Help me through, help me need you

Until the morning sun appears
Making light of all my fears,
I dry the tears I've never shown
Out here on my own.

But when I'm down and feelin' blue
I close my eyes so I can be with you
Oh, baby be strong for me; baby, belong to me
Help me through, help me need you.

Sometimes I wonder where I've been,
Who I am, do I fit in.
I may not win, but I can't be thrown,
Out here on my own
Out here on my own


I am not drunk. Yet. But goddamnit, I'm sure I will be, mark my words. I had the best intentions of being sober and behaving myself tonight, but I have changed my mind.