Dear Mr Blank: I accept accept the fact that I sacrificed a whole chunk of my career in public service, and in contract work, and in solo practice, for pursuing whatever it is I thought would make me most happy and satisfied, but I think you're crazy for making me write an essay telling you who you think I am to deserve a junior associate position at a New York megafirm.
You see me as you want to see me: in the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions.
But what I found out is that each one of us is an evening law student who actually worked for a living and held down a city job giving her invaluable (to her) and useless (to you) experience; a loser contract attorney who chose not to pursue a large firm associate's position; and a selfless solo practioner who happily gives away tons of free and low-cost advice to amazing deserving people; and a licensed patent attorney who got her USPTO number in October 2001; and a brilliant, talented, ambitious, fast learner with a science degree from a major university who needs but no one will give one year of experience that you find so necessary. Does that answer your question? Sincerely yours, Distinguished Counsel to The Breakfast Club.
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PS - Piss off. I'm going to write more parodies.