The air, and something in it

This morning all I wanted to do was walk outside and breathe. It was cloudy sunny, kind of that odd bright gray glow you sometimes get when rain threatens one neighborhood but not another. And the air was clean, but full of ice, somehow...not chilly but it felt like being inside a glass of cool cool water. Again, words fail me. But it felt good, good to take in, like the last squeezed juices of winter were insinuating themselves into the air.

As much as I enjoy flirting with other men, I do miss my husband lately and find myself speaking of him a lot. Even when I'm flirting with other men. I've had to train myself to flirt because it's not my style. And where does it get you? Someone to make out in a bar with or someone to walk through the park with on a warmish cool day?

I need to breathe, slowly.