Via Kristina's blog...I found this article on something termed "gray rape," more or less referring to impaired judgment in social/sexual situations and including (but apparently broader than) the concept of acquaintance rape.
Definitely thought-provoking.
In therapy recently, I was told that I don't share my feelings easily. I've had this confirmed by a personal friend or two.
I'm never really sure what I share, whether they be feelings, thoughts, emotions or behaviours.
I will say, though, something like this has happened to me. Perhaps, in different ways, even more than once.
I'm not sure I feel like discussing it here, though. I did ramble on about it in therapy a bit, recently, which is why I'm bringing it up; with my curious lack of affect that I take to be logic/successful processing of all things like this. Until they explode in some other direction.
I don't like affecting other people with my "feelings," but I don't mind listening to others.
Call me whacky. Or closed-off, or lacking in trust. That's just me, for now.
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I'll share this with you for the first time ever. My first sexual experience was what you might call a "grey rape". I was 16, he was 22. I wasn't chemically impaired in any way, but I was young and emotionally impaired. I said no, but that didn't matter. My response was to fabricate a relationship with this asshole so that I wouldn't percieve myself as a whore.
Wow. That is the first time I have ever revealed that. Thank you.
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