Things you realize when you watch too much Food Network, continued.

1. Here's the formula for every episode of Chopped:
- the foreigner
- the meathead
- the culinary student with no experience or the experienced chef with no formal training
- the girl
- three far more qualified judges (both in terms of sheer culinary skill and ability to snark up the joint). Alex, Scott, I hope you are doing bong hits or jager shots on commercial breaks.

2. Dear Guy Fiertrtrti,

Go away.

3. Dear Sandra Lee,

Soft focus just makes it worse.

Go have a drink and then go away.

4. Which Travel Channel show is Jeff Corwin ripping off - No Reservations or Bizarre Foods?

5. Top Chef this week made me realize that I miss Emeril. Poor Emeril, kind of. A talented person. Mugging and catchphrasing all those years, only to be replaced by Paula Deeeeeeeen and Guy Fietrtrtrtrti. Then again he's probably a bazillion aire with a slew of restaurants and such.

This may be a whole lot funnier considering how little food I've eaten in the past month. Or not.