Things you realize when you watch too much Food Network

1. Ingrid Hoffman is like Rachael Ray with a stupid accent, a stereotyped soundtrack and ugly velour sweats. She reminds me of these twin girls I prosecuted in Family Court; one was smart and angry, and one was batshit crazy and dumb (and looked just like her mom). She's the dumb one.

2. Anne Burrell is the chicken lady from Kids in the Hall. However talented a chef she may be (I don't doubt she is), and I'd love to go out drinking sangria with her, she has absolutely no screen charisma.

3. Bobby Flay. Too much. Talented and screen-savvy, but three less shows would do you fine.

4. Ellie Krieger. Not enough! But keep it that way, Food TV, and avoid turning her into a shrieking whole-wheat harridan....

5. Like Paula Deen and her creepy sons. She's become a parody of a stereotypical crazy Southern lady party host. Please, stop.

6. Wouldn't it be awesome if Kendra got a cooking show? Probably not. Just a thought.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You're right! Anne Burrell really is "the chicken lady" :)