grumble grumble

Warning to all three of you readers....CRANK ALERT

I have had a splitting headache for 14 hours. I don't care if my blood turns into water, I'm digging up some fucking aspirin.

Of course, it would be fine if I'd made it to the drugstore to get eyedrops Bufferin and my antidepressants.

Or even better, if I wasn't carrying around giant waterballooons on my chest that hurt like a bastard and I wasn't eating chocolate covered salt licks...I'd be dandy.

Or stopped contemplating my 'personal' life. You know, I realized a couple of things. First of all, my ideal man is probably a mashup of two, two and a half guys I know, sprinkled with whiskey and prescribed mild anxiolytics. So much for science. And second, I don't think that I actually know how to properly fall in love with the right person. I know a lot of stuff, people, I'm hella smart (smarter than to use words like 'hella'), but this may be something I can't think my way out of.


Will a pretzel cure all this? And should I find out?


reader #2 said...

Whiskey cologne; now there's a concept.

Properly falling in love? Not sure if I've ever been called the best one for relationship advice. Now if you want fashion advice ...

Now what would happen if you did get to the drugstore and you mixed all those things together? Would the salts in the eyedrops make the bufferin dissolve? Would the salt in the eyedrops let you switch over to pure chocolate?

Michelle said...

You're a theoretician. I'm an experimentalist. That's why we can never fall in love.