From the outside looking in.

I've spent the day writing, working and ducking my inner monologue via baseball, blogs and NPR. And then I come across this (through the multipurpose time sucker, MySpace)


It's true of this person, a funny talented friend, something of a mentor to me. It's true of the friend I sent it to, almost startlingly so. It's true, to a large extent, of me (subbing in men, not without the occasional girl crush...you get the point).

Does it speak to its universality, or the types of people to whom I am drawn?

That's a hypothetical question.

Fully attributed above, herefore and to wit, I reprint it below to test said hypothesis, to enlighten...whatever. It's just pretty good.:

Junkyard Dog

I think I fall in love with every woman I care about. And I mean that literally. But before you break out the restraining orders relax. It's like that but it's not.

I'm probably the last person in the world you'd think of as a romantic. And surrendering to real intimacy has always been a foible. Or maybe trust is the word I'm looking for. It's always a gamble to trust somebody with you.

But I'm not talking about sex here. Sex is far to easy to find and therefore is equally as easily rendered meaningless. I'm talking about romance. That melting feeling. And let's be honest. It's not hard to cultivate. Take two even margainally compatible, funny, intelligent people who aren't physical ogres and put them in a room together and eventually some chemistry is bound to develope. It's not rocket science. If it were match.com would be a subdivision of NASA.

Nobody's got to act on this sexual tension by the way. More often than not it manifests itself in harmless flirtation or a friendship where the emotional boundries are a little murky. Maybe you have that "if she wasn't seeing someone" thought but that's about it. Course it gets inappropriate if that thought gets on a loop. Funny how that DJ in you head likes to fu-- with you huh? Might as well just go with the flow because he knows your play list better than you do. He knows who you imagine you're dancing with when you hear "Time After Time" or making love to when you listen to "Beside You" or remembering who's life you blew up any time he plays the Ramones. And the son of bitch can be merciless with that Top10 when he chooses to be.

But I do look at women who grab my attention very closely. (Maybe too closely?) I want to know the why and how of who they are. Probably because I want somebody to look that closely at me for the why and how of who I am. That's got to be it.

But the collateral damage of getting that close is a driveby celestial arrow right in the bloody heart.

What can I say? I guess I just prefer the thrill of intelligent, funny, sensuous women. Even if it is from the outside looking in.

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