8/31/07
8/30/07
8/29/07
8/27/07
Did you see The Girls Next Door last night?
The Girls and Hef go to Renfaire. Turns out Bridget is a Renfaire devotee.
Hip Hip Huzzah!
Verily I doth add this link.
Hip Hip Huzzah!
Verily I doth add this link.
8/26/07
8/24/07
Love: A Useless Manual
There are people you love because you were borne to them, borne of them, familial. There are people you love because of familiarity, longevity. There are people you love because you care, you want to take care of them, they take care of you. There are people you love because they make you feel wonderful, happy, and full of laughter, for a moment, for a lifetime.
Then there are people you just love, completely.
I don't know how important the distinctions are. I just know them, all.
Then there are people you just love, completely.
I don't know how important the distinctions are. I just know them, all.
8/21/07
8/19/07
The Hills: 2027
This is what I do rather than clean my bedroom. Sorry!
Lauren: Wears a lot of cardigans and skinny leggings. Manages a high-end art supply store in Century City specializes in expensive handmade recycled-paper goods. When happy couples come in to browse the wedding invitations, she mutters and scribbles furiously into a recycled-paper journal. Possesses deep eye wrinkles from squinting in contempt at happy and/or successful people. Constantly reapplies muted peach lipstick. Eyebrows still incongruously dark.
Spencer: Engaged to third wife Apple Paltrow-Martin following messy splits from Heidi and Rumer Willis. Successful producer of preteen slasher films. Hair-plug technology has improved in the past twenty years, fortunately.
Brody: Avoiding extradition in Switzerland. Operates a pro shop in a ski lodge. Gained thirty pounds on dark chocolate.
Heidi: In minimum-security prison for attempting to murder Lauren by setting fire to her fluffy white sectional sofa. We learn that her natural hair color is in fact platinum blonde. Writing a tell-all book.
Whitney: Editor of Vogue. Married Ashley Olson in a million-dollar fall ceremony in the Napa Valley. Gorgeous, simply gorgeous.
Audrina: Moved to New York. Never heard from again.
Lauren: Wears a lot of cardigans and skinny leggings. Manages a high-end art supply store in Century City specializes in expensive handmade recycled-paper goods. When happy couples come in to browse the wedding invitations, she mutters and scribbles furiously into a recycled-paper journal. Possesses deep eye wrinkles from squinting in contempt at happy and/or successful people. Constantly reapplies muted peach lipstick. Eyebrows still incongruously dark.
Spencer: Engaged to third wife Apple Paltrow-Martin following messy splits from Heidi and Rumer Willis. Successful producer of preteen slasher films. Hair-plug technology has improved in the past twenty years, fortunately.
Brody: Avoiding extradition in Switzerland. Operates a pro shop in a ski lodge. Gained thirty pounds on dark chocolate.
Heidi: In minimum-security prison for attempting to murder Lauren by setting fire to her fluffy white sectional sofa. We learn that her natural hair color is in fact platinum blonde. Writing a tell-all book.
Whitney: Editor of Vogue. Married Ashley Olson in a million-dollar fall ceremony in the Napa Valley. Gorgeous, simply gorgeous.
Audrina: Moved to New York. Never heard from again.
8/12/07
Semisolid food, from back in the day
Anyone remember the Bisquick Impossible Pies?
http://www.recipegoldmine.com/pieimp/pieimp.html has a ton of them.
The awesomest one in my opinion is Zucchini Tomato Pie, great for using up garden excesses.
This was yummy and easy.
My brother claims no recollection of said Pie.
Fool.
I plan to make one soon and watch the no crust magic happen! You should too! It's a hallmark of suburban garden summer.
Serve one at your next barbeque!
8/11/07
Bleagh....and wtf?
Yeah a copout title if there was any...but my stomach is basically inside-out and it's tough to concentrate.
I meant to report something bizarre that happened in therapy aka shrinkage Monday. I was talking about things (as I am wont to do when paying for someone's attention and mad therapeutic skillz) and when things got too serious, I found myself slowly passing out. For real. My eyes started fluttering, I slid down on the fairly-comfy armless sofa (chaise? shrink sled? Whatever), my back against the seat of the sofa and my legs on the floor, finally pulling my legs up in hazy defeat as my eyes slammed shut. I drifted in and out of 'sleep' mumbling occasional answers to my therapist's questions and muttering "Am I dying?" from time to time (since I was convinced that this wasn't just stress but actual death). When I arose from the sofa I was disoriented and frightened. She said I'd shake it off, and was unsurprised and unstressed about it (unlike me).
Then I went and had a couple of drinks and saw a show.
Weird.
Here's an actual poo contest. Enjoy!
I meant to report something bizarre that happened in therapy aka shrinkage Monday. I was talking about things (as I am wont to do when paying for someone's attention and mad therapeutic skillz) and when things got too serious, I found myself slowly passing out. For real. My eyes started fluttering, I slid down on the fairly-comfy armless sofa (chaise? shrink sled? Whatever), my back against the seat of the sofa and my legs on the floor, finally pulling my legs up in hazy defeat as my eyes slammed shut. I drifted in and out of 'sleep' mumbling occasional answers to my therapist's questions and muttering "Am I dying?" from time to time (since I was convinced that this wasn't just stress but actual death). When I arose from the sofa I was disoriented and frightened. She said I'd shake it off, and was unsurprised and unstressed about it (unlike me).
Then I went and had a couple of drinks and saw a show.
Weird.
Here's an actual poo contest. Enjoy!
Hello? Hello?
Does anybody read this anymore?
On an unrelated note, may be a bad time to skip the antidepressants.
Here's a picture of a tapir:
On an unrelated note, may be a bad time to skip the antidepressants.
Here's a picture of a tapir:
8/9/07
Ain't no cure for the summertime ewwwws
Spotted on the walk to work this morning:
1. A woman in a smart tailored suit open at the next showing off an intricate array of subclavicular tattoos. (I'd like to think she was an attorney and it was the Bill of Rights or the 1934 Securities and Exchange Act.)
2. A shortish man in a neat grey suit, his briefcase and duffel bag on the ground next to him, shaking off and zipping up after peeing on a deli.
3. A woman in bright red surgical scrubs smoking extra-long cigarettes.
4. A woman in a black strapless cocktail dress, stiletto heels and a battered bouquest of flowers. Must've been a great night! She got flowers!
5. My purse strap creeping repeatedly across my right nipple for four crosstown blocks before I realized there were projection issues.
1. A woman in a smart tailored suit open at the next showing off an intricate array of subclavicular tattoos. (I'd like to think she was an attorney and it was the Bill of Rights or the 1934 Securities and Exchange Act.)
2. A shortish man in a neat grey suit, his briefcase and duffel bag on the ground next to him, shaking off and zipping up after peeing on a deli.
3. A woman in bright red surgical scrubs smoking extra-long cigarettes.
4. A woman in a black strapless cocktail dress, stiletto heels and a battered bouquest of flowers. Must've been a great night! She got flowers!
5. My purse strap creeping repeatedly across my right nipple for four crosstown blocks before I realized there were projection issues.
8/3/07
I can't help it, I love Google Ads
I know they are creepy and targeted, but kind of loosely (which amuses me greatly). I know I am propagating their gently invasive advertising model by discussing it here (and reprinting links). But damn, they make me laugh a little.
Today's favorites:
The Palmpillow (which itself, has Google ads for other smallish travel pillows because it's free targeted advertising, thus effectively cannibalizing itself)
Modern Mountain Man's Big Agnes dual sleeping bag (both the website name and product line name amused me)
Dress Modest (for those who shun low necklines and muffin tops for G-d)
The Internets iz Fun!
Today's favorites:
The Palmpillow (which itself, has Google ads for other smallish travel pillows because it's free targeted advertising, thus effectively cannibalizing itself)
Modern Mountain Man's Big Agnes dual sleeping bag (both the website name and product line name amused me)
Dress Modest (for those who shun low necklines and muffin tops for G-d)
The Internets iz Fun!
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