Why me? Why does weird shit happen to me?

I'm nursing what I believe is a dislocated jaw. Either that, or a recently relocated jaw that hurts like a bastard. What was I doing to earn this? Street fight? Stage combat gone wrong?

Nope. Chewing.

In my heavily scarred life, I have, among other things -
- run a screen door into the back of my foot
- gotten a shard of cadaver in my eye (while wearing glasses)
- burned my stomach on a cookie sheet
- slipped and fell INSIDE A HOSPITAL dislocating my knee
- fallen down subway steps (6 train)
- gotten a concussion from an improv show
- face-planted while leaving the stage at the Parkside

Now, I've dislocated and relocated my jaw (I think. It's starting to swell, now that I've removed the icepack). I didn't know whether to call the doctor or dentist, so I called the dentist.

I feel like a moron. A moron in huge amounts of pain.

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