I'm starting to find stuff I know he'd like. The film clip of Carson interviewing Zappa, he'd love that. Love it. Some poetry readings. Stuff like that, I want to send to him.
But I can't. I just can't. For real. Not right now. Even he figured out first that we're in an adversarial proceeding. And me, silly me, the actual lawyer...
We can't even be friends now. Weren't we friends, once? Should we be again? Can we?
That is making me incredibly and unexpectedly sad.
There's a hole in my life where good things once were.