In other news....

1. There's a new MTV idiot-adventure competition show on. Huzzah!
2. There's a big difference between angry and bitter.
3. It's way too warm in my apartment.

Bloggity bleah.

Too many things! Too much writing! Writing and crocheting make my carpal tunnel kick in. I'm sooooo old.

Random thoughts for the three remaining readers:

1. Feeling like a squishy slug, I decided to walk like mad all last week, which I did. Sunday night I walked home from a show and had to use the bathroom really badly, so I ran home along 4th street. I can't run. I have a shin splint and already lost one Ace bandage clip. I am a moron. A moron with overly large sneakers.

2. What's the deal with Ace bandage clips? Why don't they sell them in packages for us loose-jointed klutzes?

3. At Whole Foods, I spent $70 on Passover goodies and yeast.

4. Tomorrow! MTV! The Dule II! Whoo!

5. ANTM makes Make me a Supermodel look super edgy.

6. I like dresses.

7. I can't Facebook at work. Huzzah!

8. Want to get inspired to write? Don't read the classics. Read a shitty yet compelling book. This will keep you engaged in it long enough to realize that if this trainwreck can get written AND printed, I can write a book too!

9. Maybe.

10. Happy Springtime Holidaze!

Things you realize when watching too much "Platinum Weddings"

1. Words and phrases you never want to hear again are 'very unique,' 'most unique' and any mispronunciation of 'Swarovski.'
2. Cocktails shall all be known as 'stupid name-tini' forever more.
3. Why would you want to dance on a lit-up floor projection of your own name?
4. It's Swahr-ahf-ski.
5. Okay, the photo booth is a neat idea.
6. Morphine withdrawal makes you tear up at the slightest provocation.

Sunny day, chasing the clouds away....

Sorry, but the Sesame Street theme just came up in my party shuffle. Party, indeed!

Janet told me this weekend, upon much caressing of her hot new iPod Touch, that she wasn't a "shuffle girl." That she liked whole albums, instead. That's OK. For me, it depends on my mood. Sometimes it's party shuffle, sometimes it's ten repetitions of Mitch Hedberg.

Joe Powers is in the hospital. If you don't know him, he's a sweet young comic who was in a terrible accident. Pray to whatever g-ds you do or don't believe in that he pulls through good and strong.

Can you tell me how to get? How to get to Sesame Street.

I had a lovely, lovely weekend in Chicago, for real. It wasn't just the getting away (which may have been nuts of me, given the short "whirlwind" trip and the fact that I leave for California this weekend). It was the complete and total dissolution of a sense of responsibility and decision making. And I can thank my lovely friends Janet and Ken for that, from picking me up at the el to gently depositing me at O'Hare full of pork omelette and giggles. We did tons of stuff, interspersed with some serious lumping around. I even slept better. I really needed to get the hell out of Dodge. Saw a benefit at the Old Town school (and ate free skordalia till I emanated garlic); hit the Taste of Polonia festival (an amazing fest of all things Polish. Sto lat!); went to a fantastic dance performance by the Breakbone Dance Company (perhaps inspiring me to get off my butt); and the traditional pre-airport Sunday brunch at Java Thai. And lots of nice, hard dozing and music-listening and cheese-snacking. I really needed that.

I don't have the speakers hooked up to my new mac mini, but the built in invisible ones don't really suck for my purposes. Nice!

I'm not tired anymore. Not much. A bit bouncier than I was an hour ago, perhaps. But otherwise OK.

stuff that made me happy yesterday (mush alert)

a long shower
cantonese roast pork noodle soup with a fine gentleman
haagen daz frozen yogurt sorbet pop, raspberry
watching the HOFers at the all-star game with my mom
my mom
warm weather and set trailers abounds
the smell of pierogies and summer in the air
a relatively sane kitty
a couple dozen roses
a whole lotta post it notes
even more post-it notes
sleep.

Late night haiku

The cool air feels crisp
on my face. I would like to
smoke a cigarette.

Full moon glows brightly,
thru my window as I slice
some Brie. I like Brie.

Grape Propel is nice.
Warm or cool it matters not.
Grape Propel is nice.

Did you ever wonder....

Whether you weren't good enough for him? Or, rather, maybe he wasn't good enough for you? Or, both? Neither?

Nope. Not at all.

Make Me a Stupormodel (too easy, I know)

"It's like a fraternity....except really good-looking"
- Make me a Supermodel

You know, watching Niki and Tyson (darling do you need a last name?) make me realize how great Heidi Klum is at her job. And, believe it or not, Tyra. She's fakey, but in a believable way. Genuinely fakey.

I know I don't make sense. I've eaten my weight in baked potatoes. I'm kinda miserable. I've been watching too much Bravo TV.

But given the choice between being a supermodel and a WWE Diva, guess which I'd prefer?

Suspended anime-tion

I am in an odd place right now.

There is work on my desk and I have no desire to embark on completing it. I have additional work to do tonight, which I will likely enjoy, but it is not my main work.

I have an urge to do the following, in some combination perhaps, and in no determined order:
- write fiction
- consume chocolate
- work on audition material
- take a long walk
- check my cell phone voice mail
- disgorge the major and minor conflicts currently weighing on my brain and heart (metaphorically, not physically, thank goodness, knock on wood and all. I'm feeling relatively dandy, except for itchy eyes and slightly sore quads.)
- create a task list for cleaning my house this weekend
- locate a credit card bill and pay it
- go to the bank
- fictionalize one of the major conflicts that's brewing that I can't freely chat about
- clean out my personal email boxes
- crochet

What I am doing -
- rambling here for a short time
- reading old and infintely entertaining journals on the IRC
- readying myself for a dee-licious cup of Swiss Miss made with water-cooler hot water, thus making it slightly murky and not at all hot enough.
- debating whether I should gnaw on a stale unfilled cannoli shell (!) with my delicious beverage
- contemplating starting a new document of barfed-up fictionalizations of my current internal drama.

Yawn.

I'm wearing a smart suit, though. Shouldn't that count for something?

A new morning....

What am I wearing? A white tank and underwear. Lime green socks.

What am I drinking? GFIC "French Vanilla Cafe" with protein powder mixed in.

What am I thinking? Should I write a book? Can I get some laundry in? Raisin nut bread sounds nice.

What is required of me? Lunch with the family and the first Changing of the Linens.

What's the vaguely humourous retort in my head? Why do they call them linens anyway? What's the deal with that? I mean really are they actually made out of linen?

What's the burning question? Am I ready to watch Season 5 of the Wire?