Not a great day in lawyer land.

Currently in a holding pattern.

Yikes.

Coolest case name of the day.

I'm a bit researched out at the moment, but here, I defy you to turn this into an improv group name:

KATHREINER'S MALZKAFFEE FABRIKEN MIT BESCHRAENKTER HAFTUNG et al. v. PASTOR KNEIPP MEDICINE CO., 82 F. 321 (1897).

I Want Delicious Eczema-Free Candy!

Sometimes the law of the land is adorable. And delicious!

What I'm reading right now:

Not all candy is pulled, but much of it is. The process is first the mixture of the ingredients, then the boiling, then the cooling on a slab, and then the pulling. After boiling and cooling, it is a compact mass of dark color. The pulling aerates it and makes it less in weight but larger in bulk, lighter in color and more capable of holding flavor. Until the beginning of this century, candy was pulled only by hand. It required much strength. Candy pullers were hard to get. The work was strenuous and produced perspiration and uncleanliness. It was done with the
bare hands, and it was impossible to avoid danger from eczema and abrasions of the skin of the hands. It was neither appetizing nor sanitary. A good candy puller pull 300 pounds of candy a day. The capacity of the large machines now in use is 2 1/2 tons each, and one man can attend to two machines. Thus since 1900, the art has advanced from a production of 300 pounds a day to 10,000 pounds, with the same labor.

Hildreth v. Mastoras, 257 U.S. 27 (1921), Chief Justice Taft (yes, Taft) writing for the Court.

I am working very hard.

But check this out - hacking coffee machines!

And the presence of this in my office makes me a wee bit giddy. (I put it up and several people have copied it. It's a particularly detailed one.)



Web Elements

Nerd.

Ah, those crazy jurists!

"As I recall my esteemed former colleague, Thurgood Marshall, remarking on numerous occasions: ‘The Constitution does not prohibit legislatures from enacting stupid laws.'"
- J. John Paul Stevens

06-766 New York State Board of Elections v. Lopez Torres

That's what I do

from actual patents.

"bugle headed screw dog"
"flesh correction circuitry for color television"

Best career move I've heard all day.

"I'm going to quit and start diving for treasure."

- Captain Yogurt*, Patent Attorney at Large



*not his real name. You know how much I love the pseudonyms!

I'm a grand-lawyer!

Welcome Alice Mary Jean Kelleman!

(video is pretty and free of icky birth stuff and full of happy parents and baby, one of whom happens to be a friend and client now known as "Dad.")

Humor.

In other news,

European Patent Attorneys - Not Funny Either.